Jun
15
2017
Without emotions we would all be like robots
By Jessica Toms - Office Manager
Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence. - Robert K. Cooper, PhD
Being a busy Office Manager and managing an admin team can be a challenge, and sometimes my emotions get in the way of the job at hand. Being emotional is not a bad thing, if none of us had the occasional emotional outburst we would all be like robots! However learning how to keep emotions under control, becoming more aware of your surroundings and being less reactive, can help you through the situation you are faced with. I believe that a happy manager makes a happy team.
Recently I decided to attend the Emotional intelligence course here at the Centre. I knew where my weaknesses lay and I wanted to get some tips on how to improve them, as well as develop a tool kit to refer to when the self-doubt kicks in.
To be able to keep your EI (emotional intelligence) in check, you need to recognise your own personal competences. I knew that self-awareness and self-regulation were high on my list, which lead into becoming more emotionally resilient. We all strive for perfection and to be the best we can, and we put far too much pressure on ourselves and forget what our strengths and our limits are.
Since attending this course, and going through some big changes in my personal life, I have learnt how to be more emotionally resilient in work and home life.
So here are my top tips on how to be emotionally resilient.
Having self-control
Sometimes our emotions can be quiet disruptive, which can make us quiet impulsive and have outbursts. Learning how to keep these emotions in check is a good place to start, try not to sweat the small stuff and view your difficult situations as a challenge rather than seeing them as scary. I find that a good self-talk in the mirror before you address the situation can help; you see how your body posture comes across and how your facial expressions look. The same can be done when being too reactive to an email; write your response and save it in your drafts, come back to it at the end of the day and 9 times out of 10 you will delete your response.
Being emotionally aware
A big part of being resilient is being emotionally aware. It is good to know what you are feeling and why the situation makes you feel that way. Being an emotional person can be draining and feel a little overwhelming, but knowing what triggers these emotions, will help you change the way you think and do things.
If someone has said something to me that has got my back up or made me feel annoyed, I write it down in my diary about how it made me feel and how I will challenge it in an EI way. It’s also useful to do the same if someone has said something nice or praised your work. Make a note of how it made you feel and read it when you are having an off day, that little note will get you thinking positively in no time!
Be confident
Sometimes when you have had set backs in life getting your confidence back can be hard. We tend to always look back on the past, but try to be in the present and always recognise your self-worth and your capabilities. Know your strengths, your limits, and always think “I can” instead of “I can’t”
It’s good to laugh
An old Yiddish proverb says, “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” A good laugh can be compared to a mild workout, as it exercises the muscles, gets the blood flowing, decreases blood pressure and stress hormones, improves sleep patterns and boosts the immune system. So having a good laugh at yourself or the situation you are in will encourage a lighter touch on your life that can help with your resilience.
Be patient and don’t give up – Never give up on the situation you are faced with, one of the joys of being a manager is being faced with a number of situations that might make you feel uncomfortable. However, always remember that you are only human, so never give up on the situation, push the emotions to one side, keep working, and always trust your process and decision. Something I always tell myself (I even have it written down by my desk!) is ‘its ok to be a perfectionist and want to do your best, but always remember your best is good enough.”
Want to know more? Find out about our Emotional intelligence course, or get in touch on reception@the-centre.co.uk
