Jun
08
2017
How to give effective feedback
By Daljeet Singh.
Feedback is one of those words that will often make us cringe. We have all heard somebody come to us and mention feedback that they would like to give, or that someone else has given, and we prepare ourselves for criticism and even personal attack. Yes, feedback has a bad reputation, like that one person that we never want to invite to the party because we know they’ll say or do something that sucks the life out of the room.
Of course when it is our turn to offer feedback, others feel the same way about us! This can be a real problem if your role (personally as well as professionally) involves giving feedback to improve performance. However, feedback, if used correctly, is one of the most valuable sources of information on how we can improve ourselves, our procedures, our ways of doing business, and our ways of dealing with people!
One powerful tool in overcoming this bias that we have developed as feedback is to change its nature. In our minds, we have developed a shortcut that feedback = criticism = bad. What if we could shift that paradigm? I invite you to try this as an experiment: Ask to offer someone some feedback, and then tell them something they’ve done that was good. Notice how surprised they are. Then, at the next opportunity, do it again! Over time, both you and those that you give feedback to will start to see feedback as…just feedback! Sometimes it’s a pat on the back, sometimes it draws our attention to our need to improve; but it’s just feedback, and in our new way of looking at it, feedback is nothing to be afraid of!
The other thing that people say is “I sense a ‘but’ coming”. That is because they are accustomed to the ‘feedback sandwich’. A rather tired model where we say something good, then give a whole lot of the kind of feedback that people dread, and finish with something good (sometimes just re-iterating what we said at the start of the sandwich!). Again, people expect this. I would encourage you to surprise them with the above tactic to change their expectation, to change the very meaning of the word in their perception, so that they are more welcoming of it and feel that it exists to help them rather than just criticise their efforts.
So what model might we consider instead of the ‘feedback sandwich’? There are many ways of approaching feedback, but here is a simple one that is quick and easy to apply. The next time you have to give feedback, instead of offering a feedback sandwich, try the ‘Star, Star, Wish’ approach. With this method, we start with two things that were done well and deserve recognition, and then, we can ask to make a suggestion about something that might be improved in the future. By asking to make a suggestion, we involved the other person in the feedback, and allow them to be responsible for their own growth and improvement.
Changes will not occur overnight, but if we commit to shifting the paradigm around feedback and stay with it, eventually perceptions will change and feedback will slowly but surely gain a better reputation. Changing the perceptions around feedback will mean that feedback will be given and received in constructive ways throughout the business. Others will start to model your success and good quality feedback can become a part of the culture of the organisation. Giving and receiving feedback well can change the quality of life at work and can transform the performance of a business. Imagine what it could do for yours.
Want to know more? Take a look at our Effective feedback and conversations course, or take a look at our other courses.
